As proven in my previous post 'Dear ladies of the world', the male race is semi-dependent on the female race. One part of us are kings of the world, and (more importantly) the other, famished, ravaging animals that food made with loving female hands. I have, after intensive research, cooked up (something you ladies should learn) the thesis of the year. Ok month. Why The Lady of Today Should Cook.
I understand that I was supposed to publish "Learn How To Learn How To Cook", but if the lady doesn't see the need to cook, why would she even learn? Read on.
Why The Lady of Today Should Cook
1. It's good for The Man
A rebuttal to this thesis would be "But the world's greatest chefs are men!" But understand this, ladies. The Man wants, not needs, the greatest chef in the world to cook for him. What The Man needs is The Lady. Sure, romantics and Secondhand Serenade may preach that all The Man needs IS THE LADY.
But Star Wars. Luke Skywalker would never have made it if it wasn't for R2-D2. But wait. Just 2-D2? Noppppeeeee. R2-D2 AND C3PO! Likewise, The Man loves The Lady. Just The Lady? Noppppeeeee. The Lady AND Her Food! Food made by the sincere, loving, and female hands of The Lady.
But, more often than not, The Man loves The Lady to the extent of not really caring about what's on his plate. So long as it's on his plate.
But here's the thing. Relationships are two way. So do The Man a favor. Since he already loves you ladies and what you feed him to the best of his loving ability, why not give him your best? Why not learn how to cook?
2. It's good for The Lady
When The Man is happy, The Lady is happy. As simple as this concept may be, Both Man and Lady tend to make things more complex than it is. Beyonce would never be telling boys how to be boys had she fed her man well.
3. Food is Power
Ladies, high paying jobs and positions of high authority make you seem powerful. But nay, food is power. Corn and wheat saved the Indians from getting a whooping from Captain John Smith and his gang in the New World. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence over a cup of tea and scones. In the Bible, a baker loses his life because some sand landed in his bread. Cooking is power over food. Do you like the sound of that? Power over power? Wow. I know I do!
4. The Man wants be home
The Man may seem like he's busy all the time, with either leisure or work. But beneath the hustle and bustle of of the busy, male tycoon of life, home holds a special place in The Man's heart. And what The Man loves more than home is homecooked food. Grandma's hot minestrone soup, Mum's shepherd's pie, or Mrs. Man's chocolate chip cookies, every man has a special memory of homecooked food for a special place in his special stomach. When The Man thinks of food, he thinks of home. Whether The Lady misses him or not, The Man is always longing for home. So make those moments special. Learn how to cook.
5. Because
Female revolutionaries and modern thinkers may most violently oppose this 'vulgar' or 'blasphemous' act whereby I petition females to use their blood and sweat (not literally, of course) for the good of males, with not as much as a "thank you" and dirty dishes in the sink as a result. They may be right. They may be wrong. They are, this I know, either still single and lonely, or have yet to address their man on this issue. (which, I might add, would be an excellent topic to build your relationship upon!)
Or you may be cooking (hey, common topic!) up an argument against this whole article. But let me assure you, in that time taken to write your debate, you would have probably learned how to make sushi or pavlova. I should know... I took egg tarts and chocolate chip muffins to complete this post.
Thank God for a mother and sister who knows how to cook.
Let me help you help me help you help your man help you help yourself.
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